


We Can’t Change the Past and the Future Is Already Set

by Hippiainen



Series: A Light Lost in the Dark [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Aleena isn't having fun, Aleena's origin story of sorts, Character Death, F/M, Gen, Kidnapping, Psychological Torture, Religious Fundamentalism, and the people caught in between are the ones that suffer, because this is how her life is destroyed, contains some eye gore, its all downhill from there, jedi and sith have issues, results of brainwashing, some fluff in the beginning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-09
Updated: 2018-06-09
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:39:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hippiainen/pseuds/Hippiainen
Summary: For some, there is that one moment that changes your life and its path so fundamentally that you wouldn't be you without it. And in Aleena's case that moment is out of her control, the power resting in the hands of others. Her life just another pawn in the war between the light and the dark.





	We Can’t Change the Past and the Future Is Already Set

**10 hours earlier**

The hanger in bustling with activity, various members of the Diplomatic Services making final preparations for their trip. Near the ship door two Sith, so easily standing out compared to the red uniforms of the Diplomatic services, are conversing quietly. Young laughter echoes in the hanger as Caitlin runs around, eyes wide with wonder as she observes the various people.

“Caitlin, come here! We’ll be leaving soon.” Her mother’s words stop Caitlin in her tracks. Small pout forming on her lips as she starts coming towards the ship, feet dragging against the floor.

Indran chuckles at her daughter’s antics before looking back at her husband. “You worry too much, we’ll be back in a week. Relax and enjoy the quiet while you can.”

Despite her calming words, Alastar can’t but feel uneasy even though there’s no warning in the Force. There were too many rivals to count for, and they were hardly the only threat. “I’ll try, but you know I can’t but worry. Especially now…” his hand ghosts over Indran’s stomach before gently settling there.

“We’ll tell her when we get back. She’ll be thrilled.”

Indran leans towards him, about to kiss him when a voice interrupts them. “Who’ll be thrilled?”

The two adults give each other a meaningful look before kneeling down besides Caitlin. “You, my dear.”

“Oh? So, what’s the surprise?” Caitlin looks at her parents expectantly, grinning almost from ear to ear.

“You’ll see when we get back. Now say bye to dad and we’ll get going. There’s a long way to go.” Indran’s fingers comb affectionately through Caitlin’s hair, before gently nudging her towards Alastar.

Caitlin’s arms wrap around her father’s neck. Alastar’s arms pull her closer, kissing her cheek. “Aah, it’s itchy,” Caitlin giggles, smiling as his beard rubs against her skin.

He smiles for a moment before becoming more serious. “Promise you’ll look after your mother.” Caitilin nods, her attempt at a solemn look failing as she can’t stop smiling from the excitement of the coming trip. “Good. I love you.”

“I love you too dad.” When he lets go of her, Caitlin almost skips to the ship entrance, turning back when she notices her mother isn’t following her. “Mom, let’s go!”

“Soon.” Indran can’t help but smile in amusement. “You go ahead and get settled in, I’ll be there in just a moment.” Caitlin disappears inside as her parents rise from the floor. The hanger is almost empty, most of the people having gone into the ship.

Alastar pulls her into his arms, kissing her shortly. “I love you.” The next kiss is deeper, longer, unhurried, love and tenderness interwoven into the Force.

Indran smiles, “I love you too. I promise I’ll call as soon as we get there.” Part of her doesn’t want to let him go, but they both have their duty. After all, it wouldn’t be long before she and Caitlin would be back home.

***

**30 minutes earlier**

Fauren’s hand falls on the shoulder of the pilot. “Be ready, they should be exciting hyperspace in few minutes. Block their next jump and jam the communications.”

“And ready for a quick getaway. Don’t worry my friend, this is hardly our first time doing this.” The Knight at the helm smiles towards the human Jedi.

Squeezing the pilot’s shoulder, Fauren smiles, “I know. Let me know when they arrive.” With those words Fauren returns to the four other Jedi in the passenger area.

When he looks at them, he can’t help but feel proud. He’s seen each of them grow during the years, conquering challenges they could not have seen coming. The war had forced all of them to grow up quicker than they should have. Forcing them to find new meaning in how to be a Jedi.

“We know our duty. Today we have a rare chance to remove a great evil from the galaxy. More than that, save an innocent from a life of Darkness she’d otherwise be condemned to.” His eyes linger slightly longer on his former Padawan. Look of determination falls on Edir’s face as he nods his agreement. Fauren was glad that Edir had taken it well when he’d found out about his past. He wished that the success with Edir would repeat itself today. One more child saved from the Sith.

“Boss, the ship is ready to be boarded.” The co-pilots voice can be heard from the speaker.

Fauren nods, uttering the familiar words that provide the comfort they all need in this situation, “May the Force be with you.”

***

The Jedi can sense the ship reeking of the Dark. It’s penetrated every part of the ship, the Sith’s power empowering the crew. They were almost as much creatures of the Dark as their master. Willing having given themselves over in service of evil.

But the Jedi know that evil was not enough to win against the Light. The ship’s crew is not military, and the Jedi cut through them efficiently. The few actual security forces falling like the rest as the Jedi make their way through the layout that had become familiar from their earlier excursions.

Finding the central elevator, the Jedi pause to converse quietly. Time was of the essence and the decision to split up to hasten their search is an easy one to make. Fauren and Utezt head for the upper decks while Edir leads Vedej and Olli down.

The dark side saturates the air, forcing Fauren to call upon the Light. Feeling his fellow Jedi in the Force provides support, their presence lighting the Darkness and fending it off. “Can you sense them?” Fauren shakes his head at the Twi’lek’s question. The Dark hid its children well, but they could hide only for so long until Light would shine upon them und purify their presence from the Galaxy.

They make their way slowly through the corridors, not seeing signs of anyone. Despite everything being clear, neither lower their lightsabers. The cost of one mistake is all too well-known. Suddenly Fauren halts, the Force tingling with warning. He can feel the old bond flair for a moment, knowing Edir and the others have found the Sith. The two Jedi glance at each other before hurrying of to the direction of the disturbance.

The sound of clashing blades echo in the corridor, the walls lit up in hues of green, blue, yellow, and red. The Sith doges and deflects the attacks, dancing away from the reach of the blades. Seeing the two Jedi approach, she pushes Olli away from her, forcing Utezt and Fauren to step aside so that they aren’t caught in the flying Jedi’s path. A small crack echoes when the Miraluka’s head connects with the metal wall, leaving her motionless on the floor.

The Sith’s concentration is on the two Jedi, fending them off while trying to thin the rank before Fauren and Utezt can come to their colleagues’ aid. The red blade spins quickly, connecting with flesh. For a moment it seems like time slows, Edir’s lightsaber extinguishing as it falls to the floor along with his hand. The Sith’s reflexes don’t betray her, the blade switching to reverse grip and piercing Edir. The Jedi cries in distress before falling to the floor. Fauren can feel the last ripples of the Force bond sever, the pain shocking him as an involuntary no leaves his lips.

A cruel smile flashes on the Sith’s lips as she turns her attention to the Iktotochi. Before she has the chance to go on the offensive, Utezt makes his way to the fight. His assault forcing the Sith to defend herself. Fauren is slightly slower, the violent severing of the Force bond still unbalancing him. He calls upon the Light to centre himself. He would not fall. It would dishonour Edir’s memory and his sacrifice.

The combined effort of the three Jedi drive the Sith back despite her struggle. Even though she is able to land few blows, they only grace the surface of the skin. Unable to guard herself from all angles Fauren slips behind her. As the Sith is distracted by Vedej, the red blade connecting with the Iktotchi’s face, severing one of the horns, Fauren sieges the opportunity. He sinks his blue blade between the Sith’s shoulder blades. The Sith cries in pain, lightsaber slipping from her fingers as Fauren forces her to her knees.

“Go to hell, you fucking cunts.” The Sith’s words are filled with venom. Her accent is harsh even though her words are understandable Republic Basic. The three Jedi look slightly taken back, not expecting them. “Well, what are you waiting for?”

The Jedi look at each other before Fauren speaks, “Where is she? Where’s your daughter”

“Not here. You think I’d take a child onto an assignment.”

“Don’t lie to me. I know you took her with you.” He trusted his source on this, they’d never let him down before.

“She isn’t here.” Fauren knows better than to trust the Sith in front of him. But they would find the girl and save her from life of hatred and violence.

“We’ll find her.” His tone is calm, certain of this. “Know that I don’t relish doing this, but it is something that must be done.” To cleanse the galaxy of the evil of the Sith and the dark side.

The Sith seems to know what is to come next, her words uttered in a language that Fauren recognizes as Imperial Basic. The words sound crude, reflection of the sharpness of the Dark they hold so near. He pays no attention to the words, readying his sabre before letting it land the final blow to end the Sith’s existence.

When the Sith is gone, the Jedi can feel the Force clear as the shroud the dark side is lifted. They breathe easier as the Light surrounds the ship, flushing out another Force signature, hidden by the mother’s Darkness. It’s still not clear, the Darkness trying to linger, to struggle against its inevitable destruction.

Vedej walks over to Olli, checking the Miraluka for a pulse. She shakes her head when she looks at her fellow Jedi, tiredness clearly etched in her features. Fauren and Utezt both lower their heads, now is not the time to mourn the passing of their fellow Jedi.

“Vedej, can you take Edir and Olli back to the ship? They deserve a proper Jedi funeral.” Vedej nods at Fauren’s words. The two bodies rise gently from the floor when the Iktotchi starts making her way back to the ship.

Fauren looks at the green Twi’lek. “Let’s find her. Time is of the essence and I have no wish to linger here longer than necessary.” Utezt nods as both of them start scanning the ship with the Force to find the girl.

***

**Now**

Caitlin’s whole body is shaking as she presses her arms closer around herself. The compartment she’s hiding in is small and dark and she can’t move. Not sure if it’s the fear or lack of space that’s paralyzed her, she curls up even more. The blaring alarm feels like it’s going to split her head. Tears stream down her face as her lips tremble. Why can’t this just stop?

Suddenly everything falls quiet. Caitlin doesn’t dare to move, waiting for her mother to come and get her. She’d be here soon, and everything would be fine. But until then, Caitlin would wait, listening to the sound of her heartbeat, of the blood humming between her ears, because her mother had to come and get her. She had promised everything was going to be alright.

***

**5 minutes later**

Fauren points quietly towards the bed, bringing his finger to his lips. It’s not far from where the Sith’s body lie. It was not the bed that was important, but the small Darkness that could be felt from under it. Utezt nods, watching Fauren lift the bed and reveal a small hatch on the floor.

Utezt readies himself when Fauren opens the hatch, quickly grapping the little girl and pulling her up. She screams and kicks in the Twi’lek’s arms, struggling to free herself. It seemed even the Sith’s child was already violent. But Fauren was sure they’d be able to save her before it was too late.

“Ungrateful Sithspawn!” Utezt exclaims when the girl’s teeth sink into his arm. The Sith child falls to the floor as Utezt is unable to hold the struggling child. The girl scrambles towards her mother’s corpse before Fauren has a chance to call upon the Force, stopping her in her tracts.

Using the Force, he levitates her into his arms, holding her tight against himself. “Don’t worry, you’ll eventually understand that this is for the best. You’ve been saved and from here on, we’ll take care of you,” he whispers, enforcing the calming words with the Force. He knows she doesn’t understand the words, but hopes the intention is enough.

Fauren calls upon the Force, letting it slowly wrap around the girl, telling her to sleep. The girl relaxes in his arms as the Force’s influence makes her fall asleep. Without a word the two Jedi make their way back to their ship. Despite the heavy loss they’ve suffered, the galaxy was now a better place for having one less Sith in it.

***

**16 hours later**

The halls of the ship are eerily quiet despite the people bustling around. Nobody says a word as the bodies are being prepared to be moved. The devastation is all around them and no one wants to disturb the sombre atmosphere as quiet rage burns through the ship. This had been in middle of Imperial Space, their home, and the Jedi had dared to so brazenly desecrate that safety. They would pay.

The rage that flows through the ship only amplifies the grief and hatred Mortis feels. No one approaches him as he strides through the narrow corridors. The dark side sizzles around him, warning people to keep their distance. The lingering light the Jedi’s presence has left being driven out.

The security room is empty. He had known the moment she had died, the Force screeching in pain, ripping through his heart. Despite knowing, he needed to see, needed to… his fist clenches for a moment before his fingers slowly uncurl.

Setting up the security tape to play the feed is simple. The tapes had already been reviewed but he needed to know. To see her in her last moments. To see her alive, even if it was only in an image. He readies himself, knowing the pain this would cause.

For few more minutes Indran is alive. He can see so clearly as she hides Caitlin. The grief washes over him, tightening his chest. Caitlin wasn’t here either. No, most likely she was in Republic Space. Being taken farther from home by the moment, beyond his reach.

He breathes deep as the video continues. Part of him wants to fast forward through it, but he can’t. Seeing Indran is agony, tormenting him, each heartbeat bringing the moment closer. Yet he can’t turn away, committing the face of each Jedi to his memory. They would pay. And he would do his best to ensure it was something the whole Jedi Order would feel.

He wants to close his eyes when he sees the blade pierce her, but he doesn’t. His pain feeds the Force, the dark side growing stronger. His nails press against his palms, drawing blood as he hears her final words, “Love, I’m sorry. Please, find her, bring her back home. I lov-” Watching the Jedi’s blade come down, severing her head - he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. If only this was the end of the tape…

And then, she is gone. Caitlin doesn’t go quietly, one moment she’s there, and the next… The two most important people in his life are gone, beyond his reach. The dark side saturates the air, sizzling and crackling. He’d find her. And he’d make them pay, every single one of them.

***

**3 days later**

Fauren watches the little girl on the bed, she looks so peaceful in her sleep, so different from the wild Sith child he’d encountered. He shakes her gently, wanting to see if the Council had succeeded. She pulls the blanket tightly round herself, rolling to the side before mumbling, “One more minute mom.” Well it seemed that the Basic they’d programmed into her mind was working. Good.

“I’m afraid you need to wake up little one. You’ve slept long enough.” He nudges through the Force, pulling her from the induced sleep. He needs to see if the blocks the Council had placed worked, or if she needed to be put under again.

The green eyes greeting him shoot open when she doesn’t recognize him. That was a good sign. It would hardly do if she accused him of something. “Where’s mom and dad?” She sounds so worried, so innocent. It seemed that she didn’t remember. This was all a good thing.

“There was a pirate attack,” he starts, gentle as he can. This story had been decided for the best. It was likely enough, pirates attacked ships all the time. “I’m sorry, you were the only survivor.” He pauses, letting his works sink in.

The tears slowly form in her eyes as the realisation hits her. She would never see them again, never hug them… her hands hug tightly around the pillow as she starts to sob. Warm arms wrap around her. “They are both gone, but don’t worry, you’ll get through this. You can stay here, I’m sure you’ll fit right in.”

She holds onto him tight. She doesn’t even know who he is or where she is. But he feels safe, like she can trust him. It takes several minutes before her sobs calm to small sniffles, his presence calming her. “We haven’t been introduced, but I’m Jedi Master Fauren. And what may I call you little one?”

“A-” she blinks, searching for a name before it returns to her, “Aleena.”

***

**A week later**

Aleena trots after Fauren, doing her best to look dignified in her new youngling tunic. For the past few days she’d been clinging at the Jedi’s heel, too afraid of everything. The Temple was huge, and she felt lost. Having him there with her was comforting as he patiently explained everything. She needed that. Otherwise she’d think about them, and home. Sadness washes over her, not letting her go. Her lips quaver, she doesn’t want to think about them.

“Come along. I’ll show you the nicest part of the Jedi Temple.” She follows closely when he opens the door. There’s a huge garden behind it, the sound of waterdrops hitting the surface of water greeting them. Aleena can hear a familiar hum, she’s sure she recognizes it as a waterfall. But how? Derra was just plains and grassland and she’d never even seen a waterfall. “Welcome to the Room of a Thousand Fountains.”

“It’s beautiful.” She glances around, wonder in her eyes as she tries to take it all in. The colours and the small paths lined with plants she’d never even seen. It’s all so calm, so peaceful. Listening to the waterdrops fall down fills her with a weird sense of safety, of home.

Fauren hums, leading her deeper into the garden. “Jedi come here to meditate, to study, even practice lightsaber combat. In many ways it’s the heart of our Order.” And she was already fitting in, looking the part of a youngling so well. He was sure she’d soon be like any of the younglings.

He leads her to a quiet spot near the waterfall. Kneeling down, he motions her to follow. Aleena scrambles to her knees, not sure what to expect. It’s a lovely place though. She turns to look at the Jedi when he continues, “Meditation is the best way for a Jedi to connect with the Force and I’d like to show you how to do that.”

Aleena nods. Not exactly sure what he means by any of that. But as the Jedi had offered her a place to stay when she had nowhere else to go, well she’d try. She watches him close his eyes, following his example. His voice is gentle as he guides her through it. “Feel the Force around you, feel it in each living thing. Let the Light wash over you.”

Not sure what he means by that, she tries reaching for something. Her brow furrows in confusion, she can actually feel something… She can feel it! But how? She didn’t even know she had the Force until few days ago. But it seems to respond to her as if on instinct.

But somehow, it’s wrong. She can’t place how or why she’d even think that, but… it’s empty, as if something is missing. Something about it feels blinding, as if she can’t see, and yet she can. She can feel the whole room, every single plant and person in this room. And Fauren, he is so…, she isn’t sure what. But she can see him, so bright and steady.

She can feel his approval in the Force, “Well done. You are a natural at this.” But why does she sense a small uneasiness from him?

Fauren smiles at the girl, releasing the discomfort he’s feeling into the Force. He should have known the Sith had already started corrupting her. It seemed they had been just in time to save her, and he would do everything in his power that the Darkness would never touch her again.

***

**2 years 5 months and a day later**

The air is almost still, only a small breeze blowing through the grass from time to time. The planet seems almost unnaturally calm, untouched by the war that is tearing through the rest of the Galaxy. It was no surprise that it had become a place where Jedi came to calm and enjoy rest from the war. Far in the Outer Rim, the planet was a secret, known only to few. And now, Mortis had found it along with Fauren.

It had taken years and resources to track the three Jedi down, and now Fauren was the only one left. The Iktotchi and the Twi’lek had both withered in agony for hours. Both having been broken long before Mortis had let them die. Neither had known what had happened to Caitlin, the Jedi having decided the fewer people knew, the less risk there was. And as such, their suffering had been his only solace.

He could feel the light that had seeped its way deep into the planet’s core, interwoven into every blade of grass, every living being. It felt sickly bright, blinding white surrounding the Force of the planet. Mortis pulls the dark closer to him, draping himself in the familiar warmth, shielding him from the unfeeling emptiness.

There was no way he could keep his approach a secret, the power emitting from him so clear in the Force. Fauren might think he had the advantage, being on a planet that shared his connection to the light. But Mortis knew better, there was no way Fauren could even start to imagine the depts of hatred Mortis felt for the Jedi.

The Force coursed through his veins as he approaches the spot Fauren was meditating in, preparing for the inevitable. The Jedi lacked the understanding of the power of carefully nurtured and cultivated hatred, but today he would learn. Mortis would make him regret every breath he’d ever taken. And with any luck, within months he’d have Caitlin back home, where she belonged.

He had no desire to try to communicate with the Jedi when the information he wanted could be ripped from the Jedi’s head so much easier. And certainly saved him the trouble of having to listen to the Jedi and whatever sanctimonious excuses he had conjured.

Stepping into view, Mortis ignites his lightsaber. Not that this would be the decided by their skills with a lightsaber, but it would serve as a distraction and opening to Fauren’s mind. Mental defences were harder to keep up when one was making sure not to be impaled by a lightsaber.

Fauren stands up, a grave expression falling upon his features. When he had taken the Sith’s child, he hadn’t thought that this day would come. He rarely spent more time in Imperial Space than he had to, and it had seemed unlikely for the Sith to track any of them down. But then Vedej’s badly mutilated body had been found. It had soon become obvious that all the wounds had been self-inflicted under some kind of duress. Both Fauren and Utezt had become more cautious afterwards, but it hadn’t been enough. Utezt’s body had turned up several months later, the same marks upon him as Vedej had had.

After that the Jedi Council had taken him aside to warn him of the Sith after him. But he had already known. They had assumed he hadn’t done something as brazen as to kidnap a Dark Council member’s daughter, that he just hadn’t done his research. But he had, fully aware of the possible consequences. It had been the will of the Force, and today he was given the opportunity to cleanse another stain of the dark side from the Galaxy.

The two circle each other, Fauren’s blue blade springing to life. Neither make the first move, measuring each other as they ready themselves. The impatience flairs in the Force. Mortis can’t help but smirk, the Jedi had expected him to attack, the unexpected approach causing a small unbalance. Good, he’d be more than happy to take advantage of this.

Any unbalance caused small cracks in one’s defences, and with Jedi, they revealed quite a lot. Mortis lets his mind ghost at the edge of the Jedi’s, making sure he reminds undetected as he follows the small grey lines in the whiteness. And there it is, his way in. Now he only needs the Jedi suitably distracted.

Fauren launches himself at the Sith, unwilling to wait and give the Sith the advantage of the first move. His attacks are prodding, carefully trying to find the weak spots in the Sith’s defences. Fauren is surprised by the lack of aggression in the Sith’s form. He seems to clearly prefer Soresu. It makes Fauren suspicious, sure that the Sith is plotting something. Maybe to lull him into a false sense of security before striking.

It is easy to be pleased by the ferocity of the Jedi’s attacks. He’s practically doing half of Mortis’ job for him. When he’s ready to push through the Jedi’s defences, Mortis dances around him before going for offensive. His strikes force the Jedi to take several steps back before he finds his footing again. Forcing the Jedi to suddenly focus on his defences allows Mortis to slip past his mental shields.

The Jedi’s response is swift and aggressive in its nature, forcing Mortis to fall back to Soresu. Not that he minds, it’s far easier to shift through the Jedi’s mind when he doesn’t have to focus on attacking as well. It is unlikely he’ll find what he’s seeking this way, but he can start with a cursory scan before moving to something more intense. Because even though the Jedi has yet to realise it, he has already lost.

Mortis is unable to find any mention of Caitlin, it being hidden somewhere deeper in the Jedi’s mind. But he would dig it out. This little lightsaber duel had gone on long enough. Pulling upon one of the strings in the Jedi’s mind, Mortis pushes further in.

The lightsaber falls from Fauren’s hand as a pain tears through his mind. How? It had to be… his hands clutch his head as he falls to his knees. For a moment he is sure his whole head will splinter, crack in two, and then… everything is calm, peaceful.

_“Master! You made it back!” A familiar voice greets Fauren and he turns around in surprise. Edir is smiling, his bright grey eyes looking so alive. He remembers them being hazy, the final look of surprise in them before closing forever._

_“Yes… yes I’m back.” But back from where? It’s so hard to remember._

_Before he has a chance to think about it, small arms wrap around his leg. “You are back! I missed you.” The hopeful green eyes greet him with a wide smile._

_“I’m sorry my friend. I tried to stop her, but she was too eager to see you.”_

_“It’s quite all right Utezt.” He kneels to pick the girl up. “I missed you as well Aleena.”_

Mortis pays no attention to the illusions the Jedi’s mind is conjuring. All he needs is the peace to search his mind for what he did to Caitlin. The Jedi’s slowly eroding mind should give him that time. He shifts deeper, pushing in.

_The feeling of calm envelopes him. This is where he belongs, surrounded by his apprentices, his fellow Jedi. “So Aleena, I heard you learned the Jedi Code while I was gone.” The first steps to keeping her safe from the Sith, from their depraved ideology._

_She smiles brightly, “Yes, I did. Would you like to hear it?”_

_“I would love to.”_

The frustration grows in Mortis the deeper he goes. There’s no sign of her. Of what the Jedi has done to her. He won’t give up, not when he’s so close. The Jedi might think he can hide her, but he’s mistaken. Mortis would search every nook in his mind if it came to that. Knowing the deeper he goes, the more the Jedi’s mind would deteriorate. He didn’t care if the Jedi was a bleeding husk of a being by the end of it. That was going to be the Jedi’s fate regardless.

_Fauren looks at Aleena expectantly, the small pride swelling in his chest at the thought that she was free. He’d succeeded._

_“I’d be more than happy to.” Her voice is soft as she repeats the familiar and comforting words, but for some reason he can’t stop the feeling of dread building. Her eyes are closed, as if she’s concentrating on remembering the final words, “The Force shall free me.”_

_It’s as if he’s been hit by lightning, his back shooting straight. That was not right. “Aleena, that is not the Jedi Code.” If this persisted, he would have to take her to the Council to correct this._

_Aleena looks at him, confused by his reaction. She was sure she’d repeated it correctly, just as she’d been taught. She lowers her eyes in shame, not sure what to say._

_“What is wrong my friend? She only said the words I taught her.” Fauren’s eyes shoot towards the Twi’lek, Utezt would never teach such things. He gasps, the Twi’lek’s vibrant green skin is ashen, almost sickly white, every small vein clearly visible upon his face as his blood red eyes stare at Fauren._

_“No! You wouldn’t!” Panic is starting to grow in him, this was wrong._

_“Master? Those are the words you’ve taught me as well. It is the very basis of our philosophy.” Worry is etched in Edir’s burning orange eyes. This isn’t like his master at all. He was always so strong._

_“No need to worry my dears, I’m sure he’ll return back to his normal self soon enough.” Arms wraps around Fauren from behind. The gentle voice is so familiar, but he hasn’t heard it in years. It can’t be…_

_A soft hand turns his head as even softer lips capture his. He leans in, how he had missed Olli. And here she was, alive and his._

_“No!” A guttural shout escapes him as he pushes the Miraluka away and scrambles to his feet. This was wrong, so very wrong._

_“Darling, everything is alright. I don’t know how the Jedi were able to rattle you so, but you are safe here. Let us help you.” Her gentle hand is back, wrapping around his. How he wants to… No, this was wrong. They had all lost their minds. They were Jedi, not these twisted dark creatures._

_“Please, like you helped us.” He turns his eyes upon the small voice, but it’s not the green eyes that he had expected that reassure him. The crimson that greets him makes him retch in disgust. She wasn’t supposed to be like that. He had saved her, right?_

Mortis pushes further into the Jedi’s mind, ripping through his defences. He can’t believe the Jedi had been able to hide her so well. The knowledge of her whereabouts had to be somewhere there. He was certain of it.

_Fauren’s steps are frantic as he runs away from her fellow Jedi… except they aren’t Jedi. He has no idea what’s happened. How? How did they become corrupt?_

_His knees give up from under him as he falls in front of the fountain. Except the fountain is silent and the water is still. He leans over it, wanting to splash his head with some water and clear his mind. He needs to make sense of this. Before he has the chance to do that, he catches his reflection for a second. Sickly sulphur eyes stare back at him. He stares at himself, his skin paler and the veins more visible as red rims appear on his eyes. The longer his gaze lingers, the more the red spreads until it overwhelms his eyes. There’s nothing left of him anymore. He’s lost… but how? How did the Dark spread on him? He had always been so careful._

_The soft lips are back, caressing his neck as deft fingers tease his chest before their path takes them lower. His hand catches them before they have the chance to tease him further. He was a Jedi. He didn’t have these – these urges. He had purged such desires a long time ago. He would not give in, no matter what. He had driven Olli away from his dreams years ago. “What’s wrong? You’ve certainly never said no before.” Fauren groans at her words, the desire behind them making him want to – No!_

_Pushing her away from him, Olli’s hands wrap tighter around him. He can’t, it’s difficult to breath. His chest tightens as he tries to separate her from him. His fingers claw at her, wanting the temptation to go away, needs it to go away. Finding their way around her neck, a crack echoes in the air. It’s too familiar. He gasps as she falls lifeless to the floor._

_“How could you!” Fauren barely hears Utezt’s accusations as he stares at his hands. He couldn’t have done that, not to Olli. He was a monster._

_He can feel a hand on his shoulder. Lashing out, lightning arches in the air. Utezt’s body falls to the floor. Edir’s and Aleena’s anguished cries echo in the room as they run to check on the pale Twi’lek. Fauren can’t stand around, stumbling away from the blame filled dark side corrupt eyes._

Mortis is seething, the dark side gathering around him as he tries to find anything. He cannot understand how the Jedi’s mental defences in this one matter are so strong. He’d found the Jedi’s repressed desire for a Miraluka. His silent resentment of the fact that their Council found his friend to be a more trustworthy Jedi than him. But nothing about Caitlin. Mortis starts to slowly unravel the last safekeeps of the Jedi’s mind, hoping to find any hint of his daughter.

_Fauren breathes heavily as he rests his head against the floor. The cool reflective surface feels good upon his burning skin. But no matter what, he can’t ignore the red eyes looking back at him from the mirrorlike surface. Even when he closes his eyes, they keep haunting him, reflected upon his eyelids._

_His presses his palms against his eyes, needing this to go away. He wasn’t evil. He wasn’t a tool of the dark side. He was a Jedi. He drags his hands against his skin until his nails touch the upper corners of his eyelids. Pressing his nails down, the pain feels good, purifying. The knowledge that he can be free of this burden, of this evil, making it easier to breathe. He presses harder, feeling the warm blood trickling down his eyelids. Pushing harder, he can feel nails pressing behind his eyes. His nails dig deeper scratching the surface of his eyes. He needs to get them out. The pain is unbearable as spots appear in his vision. He has to do this. He needs to be free of this evil._

There’s no more places for the Jedi to hide. One more inner shield and all the Jedi’s secrets would be bared to Mortis. So close to knowing where she was, that she was still alive.

_It doesn’t help. He can feel the dark side slithering in his veins, corrupting him. He can’t see it any longer, but he knows it’s there. Scalding and burning, corrupting everything in its path. His sharp nails scratch any surface they can find, hoping to release the tainted blood from his veins. Even when the blood flows from his arms and chest, it doesn’t help. It’s not leaving quick enough. Still destroying him._

_There’s only one way to be free. It’s what any proper Jedi would do. It’s what Utezt should have done instead of becoming the corrupt beast. It’s what Olli should have done instead of becoming the foul temptress. It’s what Edir and Aleena should do instead of becoming victims of their heritage._

_Fauren’s fingers find their way to his neck. The skin feels soft underneath his fingers as his nails dig in. Deeper and deeper, the gashes growing as the blood gushes out, flowing against his skin. The relief glows underneath his skin. He’d be free. That knowledge gives him the strength to continue. His nails feel blissful upon his skin, the Light welcoming him home._

Mortis can’t help but smirk, he’s finally found her. Caitlin seems healthy, peaceful even as the Jedi Council is meditating upon her sleeping form in a dark room. Pushing deeper, he is trying to find a hint of location, a name, anything to tell him where she is. He’s so close to finding something and then the connection shatters.

He opens his eyes, looking at the Jedi’s dead body. Rage burns in his veins. He’d been so close, and the Jedi had denied him even that. Lightning crackles in the air as he directs the currents towards the lifeless body. Burn marks crisscross through his body, joining his clawed-out eyes and torn throat. It had been such an imprudent act on his part, to not pay enough attention to the Jedi’s mind to stop it from collapsing before finding out what he wanted. Such a foolish mistake was beneath him. Not giving the ravaged body a second glance, Mortis strides away. He would need a new approach to finding Caitlin, but he would find her.

***

**2 years 5 months and 4 days later**

Aleena’s small steps echo in the large corridor as she run after the Nautolan. “Master Sorviz! Is-is it true?” Her voice is barely audible though a desperate edge breaks free. It couldn’t be true. Master Fauren was strong, he couldn’t be…

Master Sorviz kneels down, waiting for Aleena to catch up to him. His hand falls to her shoulder as he sadly sights, “I’m sorry. Master Fauren…” He nods, not wanting to say the words. In that moment he feels older than he is, watching the girl’s quivering lips as she bites her lower lip. Tears rise in her eyes, but she blinks them away.

“Aleena, he would be so proud of you. The best way for you to honour his memory is to continue your studies, to become a great Jedi.” Aleena nods, tears slowly rolling down her cheeks.

“Can I attend his funeral? I’d like to say good bye.”

“I’m afraid not.” Sorviz had seen Fauren’s body and the Council had agreed it would be better if no one outside the Council would attend. “Take comfort in the Code; There’s no death, there’s the Force. Meditate upon these words. Master Fauren has become one with the Force, he’s at peace now.”

Despite nodding at Sorviz’s words, Aleena wants to see him. Wants to say good bye to him in person, not just… “I will master. I will go do so right now.”

Sorviz squeezes Aleena’s shoulder in sympathy before getting up. He hoped the youngling would be able to let go of this grief soon before it unbalanced her. His eyes follow her as she leaves, turning the corner towards the youngling rooms. Sorviz continues on his way to the Council chambers, not paying the youngling any more attention.

Aleena slows her steps when she realises Sorviz has walked past before backtracking her steps. She wants to say good bye in person and if she can’t do it tomorrow, well she’ll just have to go and do it today.

She crosses the vast hall before disappearing into the smaller hallways. Aleena didn’t know this part of the Temple all that well, but they would have brought him here somewhere. She passes the medbay, turning several more corners before ending in front of a small door. There’s only a small sign that reads ‘morgue’ telling Aleena she’s found her destination.

Pressing her ear to the door, Aleena listens if anyone is in there. When she doesn’t hear anything, she pushes the door open.

The room is empty. Everything is clinical, white and clean. The smell of disinfectants cling to the room. Despite the sterility of the room Aleena can feel a wrongness there. It’s emitting from one of the examination tables where he can see a silhouette of a body underneath a white linen.

She’d need something to make herself taller. Noticing a chair, Aleena pulls it closer before climbing on top of it. She looks at covered body, not wanting to disturb it. She pushes the feeling of sickness down, she has to do this.

“I- I’m s-sorry,” she sniffles as the tears start falling again. “I wasn’t able to save you, not like you did me. But I promise that I’ll find the one who did this and, and I’ll make sure they can’t do this to anyone else.” She isn’t sure what else she should say. To say the exact words, to say actual good bye, it felt too final.

Small part of her needs to see him, to have that confirmation that he’s gone. It’s like the Force beacons her to do so as well, whispering at the back of her head.

Gently she lifts the linen, regretting her decision immediately. The image burns into her brains to haunt her forever. There’s no blood, everything is too clean, and she can see every deep gash on his neck, his eyelids almost torn away, the ripped eyes underneath them.

Gasping, she backs away against the back of the chair. Her erratic motion disturbs the chair. It rocks to balance on two legs before falling down. Aleena’s body tumbles to the ground. Franticly she backs to the wall, pulling her legs to her chest as she wraps her arms around her form.

Her breathing is heavy as her heart tries to escape her chest. The room feels several degrees colder, as if the Force itself is wrong. Even though the overwhelming wrongness sets around her, Aleena calms down. Sweet warmth envelopes her and she wants to trust it, to let it take her.

There’s a strange whisper in the Force, telling her she was safe, protected. He would find her and take her home. She feels sick, suddenly recognizing the dark side behind those words. In the guise of the warmth. Its insidious influence trying to take over her.

Panicking, she scrambles out of the morgue. She can’t stand until she’s away from the sickening feeling of the dark side. Breaking into a run, she doesn’t stop until she reaches her room. She takes several deep breathes as she falls to her knees. Whoever had done that to Fauren was a monster. The Sith were monster with no respect for life. Another calming breath. She lets herself sink deep into the Force, into the calming waves of the Light. She needs it to banish the Darkness that still whispers in her mind. She would have to train harder. Become the best Jedi there was. It was the only way to stop monsters like Fauren’s murderer. She had to make sure that the monster could never hurt anyone else again.

***

**15 years 6 months and 3 weeks later**

Aleena can’t bring herself to pay any attention to the holofilm, sending angry glares at the Sith every few minutes. She was sure he’d done it. That certainty grew each day, pain tightening in her chest as she thought about Fauren and what had been done to him. She was sharing a house with a monster.

“Aleena, what is bothering you? You seem more withdrawn than usual.” She can’t help but stare at him. More withdrawn? What was he expecting from her? He might be her biological father but that didn’t mean she had to act warm towards him. “I cannot help you unless you talk to me.”

“Help?” How dare he talk about help, he was the reason for all her problems. “You have no right! You murdered him!” She can feel her heart beating faster when those words fall out. She had avoided saying anything, too scared of how he’d react. But she had known about this since the day she met him and now it all finally came out.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.” Mortis’ words cut the air like ice. He had a very good idea who this was about, but he wasn’t going to presume. There were enough people dead by his hand to go and automatically assume this was about Fauren.

“Master Fauren!” Aleena springs to her feet, his words feeding the helpless anger she’d been feeling ever since she’d found out the truth. Not that the anger usually had a clear target, just impotently hovering in her mind. But for once she had one and it felt good. “You murdered him!”

Aleena stalks towards him, the Force whispering in her mind, erasing the natural fear. Mortis doesn’t seem concerned, calmly studying her as he is curious where this sudden outburst of emotions would lead.

“No, you didn’t just murder him, you butchered him! And now I’m forced to live with the monster who did that!” Her voice wavers with desperation, the rage and pain trying to fight their way through. She wants to make him pay, to even feel part of her pain.

Mortis rises up, making Aleena flinch in surprise. On instinct, she raises her hand, wanting him away from her. Before she can make a decision what to do, strong fingers wrap around her wrist. Fear curls in her stomach as a lump rises in her throat. She tries to swallow to ease the pressure but it’s too hard. She takes several deep breaths, trying to push the fear back. She wants to touch the Force, to release all these emotions into it, to be free of them, but she can’t. She knows it wouldn’t be the Light that would respond to her call.

“Aleena, you have to understand why I did what I did.” His voice is almost gentle when he says her name. “I wanted him to know even a fraction of the pain he caused me. That Jedi took the two most important people from me and that was the only way for me to have a chance of getting you back.”

She feels sick. Fauren had died because of her? The tears burn in her eyes, invisible pressure making it hard to think. She needs to hurt him for everything he’s done, for hurting her, for making her still dream of that day in the morgue.

“I hate you! I wish you had died on that day instead of him! He was a better man and more of a father to me than you’ll ever be!” She pulls her hand free from his grasp, his fingers loosening their hold as she does so.

Before he has a chance to respond, she stomps out of the room, slamming each door shut between them. There’s something satisfying in hearing the bedroom door close as she throws herself onto the bed. The pillow muffles her screams of frustration and absorbs her tears. She doesn’t know what she can do, should do. She’s a prisoner, not strong enough to take on a Sith his skill. And worse yet, she doesn’t know if she even wants to. She knows she should, she’s a Jedi, but…

He’s showed that he cares about her. He could have done so many terrible things to her, but he gave her the space when she needed it. Even now he had let her go. She had spent a long time thinking about the monster who had killed Fauren. Each time her imagination coming up with something worse. But Mortis, well he didn’t match those terrors she had conducted. The similarities stopping at the red eyes. Monsters weren’t supposed to be kind, but he’d been nice to her, forced her question it. She bangs here head against the pillow over and over again. Why couldn’t he just be like all the Sith the Council had warned her about?

A knock interrupts her thoughts, not that she minds the interruption considering how erratic path her thoughts are about to travel. “Aleena, may I come in?” She doesn’t know how to answer. She doesn’t want him, but she doesn’t want to be alone either.

“I-” she nods, even though she knows he won’t see her reaction. But her assent can be felt through the Force. Mortis slowly opens the door, studying Aleena, whose head is still buried in the pillow. When she makes no indication to move, Mortis sits down.

Gently, Mortis lays his hand on her shoulder. He wants to pull her into his arms, to comfort her, but he doubts she’d let him. “I do not need your forgiveness, nor do I ask for it. The only regret I have is that I indirectly hurt you, that was never my intention.” If only he had known how deep Fauren had sank his claws into her. If only she’d let him restore the memories and she could see Fauren for the fiend that he had been.

“Good,” she murmurs, “because you won’t get it from me. And I still hate you.”

Mortis sights, “Aleena, trust me, you don’t hate me.” He knew well enough what hate felt like, how it pierced the Force with its intensity. From Aleena he had never felt that. Fear, worry, and lately confusion. Her earlier suspicion starting to mix bits of trust and caring. Something that Aleena didn’t even truly understand herself.

“Well you’d deserve it.” Her whisper is barely audible, her attitude making Mortis hum slightly in amusement. Slowly he weaves the Force around her, part of her feeling so familiar in the Force, not hidden by the light.

Aleena can feel the sweet whispers in the Force, the warmth of the dark side all too familiar. Not just from the past few months, but from farther away. She wants to push it away from her, to let the promises of safety and home fade. Worse, she wants to wrap it tighter around her, take comfort in it. She shouldn’t, she was a Jedi… closing her eyes, she lets her pain be erased, just for a moment.

**Author's Note:**

> Fauren is a member of an extremist sect of the Jedi, who are trained on Lothal, which is why he tends to view the light and the dark in stronger terms than Mortis, hence the capitalisation in Fauren's parts and not Mortis'. Aleena is also trained at Lothal, but she was just a Padawan when she ended back in the Empire, and isn't as extreme in her views. Also living in the Empire has brought some new perspective into her life.


End file.
